New Year, New Habits

In his bestselling book Atomic Habits, James Clear says:

“New goals don’t deliver new results. New lifestyles do. And a lifestyle is a process, not an outcome. For this reason, all of your energy should go into building better habits, not chasing better results.”

The new year brings with it the promise of new opportunity and invites us to set our intention towards growth. However, the classic resolution paradigm can be problematic for our sense of self. If we are only motivated by achieved outcomes, we internalize a sense of failure when we fall short of those desired outcomes. And if we are being honest with ourselves, how many of those new year’s resolutions actually materialize? Having goals is a good and healthy way to start the year, but when are are outcome driven, we miss out on celebrating the growth we experience by working hard and creating a lifestyle around prioritizing something that is good for us. As people of faith, we know that God is at work in the struggles of our lives to produce spiritual fruit. If we are only focused on measurable outcomes and weigh our sense of accomplishment against those declared numbers or goals, we miss God’s work in the struggle towards growth.

So, if there are specific areas of your life where you want to focus on improvement, cultivating growth is a more reasonable and sustainable way to engage the new year’s mindset. Here are some tips for cultivating growth and setting intentions in the new year and some ways you can think about how to make improvements in your life that are sustainable.

1- Try Habit stacking.

Think of something non negotiable that you do everyday already without fail—things like brushing your teeth or walking your dog. Stack a habit that you want to cultivate onto that non negotiable ritual. For example, if you want to intentionally practice gratitude in your life, try thinking of ten things you are grateful for while you brush your teeth every morning and five things that went well that day while you brush in the evening. If you want to pray more throughout the day, think of things you do each day without fail—and pray either before, after or during that activity. By adding the desired new habit onto something that is already well-established, you are much more likely to succeed in making the change.

2- Focus on healthy rhythms, not rigid outcomes.

Let’s say your goal is to have a healthier body by losing extra weight. Think about what it will take to achieve that goal and work on cultivating healthy rhythms around that desire to be healthier, rather than making it your goal to lose 20 pounds. For example, create a weekly ritual around meal planning on Saturday mornings so that on Sunday afternoon,  you can shop for the healthy groceries you need to feed your body well that week. Cultivate a rhythm of moving your body intentionally and find a time during the day that you can do this that makes sense with your schedule. Changes are made by cultivating a lifestyle, not rigidly focusing on an outcome.

3- Think about what you hope is different at the end of the year because of the changes you’ve made and work backwards.

If you hope to read more books, think very specifically about how that might fit into your daily rhythms. Do you enjoy reading in the evening? That might mean you have to go to bed sooner or decide to place your phone in a separate space in order to avoid distraction. It also could mean you start listening to audio books in the car. In order to make that happen, you may have to cultivate a rhythm of opening your audio book in your car before you leave your driveway on the way to work. These simple changes pave the way for you to meet your ultimate goal of reading more books, but if we ignore the details of how to create space for this thing we have decided is important, it is unlikely to happen.

4- Look for areas of imbalance and make small adjustments.

One way to look at imbalance in your life is to check your use of resources of time or money. Do you feel that one area of your life is taking up a disproportionate amount of time and energy? Are you spending most of your budget on one area of your life while neglecting others? For example, do you wish you had healthier friendships, but most of your time and energy goes to your career? It may not be time to quit that job, but a small shift towards creating more space for relationships can cultivate the balance you are seeking. For example, set aside an evening per week to call a long distance friend. Cultivating friendships takes time, but thinking about small shifts you can make towards improving relationships is a way you can grow in this area and honor your priorities.

Creating lasting change takes thoughtfulness, time, and hard work. Focusing on habits and rhythms instead of outcomes this year will give you the opportunity to create a new lifestyle and actually BE different when the new year rolls around. If you are looking for professional support in cultivating healthy rhythms and habits, we are here to support you in therapy!